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As I sit here indoors in air-conditioned refuge from a scorching Tuesday afternoon in Eilat, I realize that I am experiencing life in a state of Israel totally different from the one I had always conceived in my mind. I now see the strong Israel that is a safe haven for Jews from anywhere in the world juxtaposed with the beleaguered Israel that suffers the sting of attacks from inside and out. When I visited Jerusalem last week, I stayed right in the heart of the city. The city I saw was vibrant and very busy, but in a way peaceful too. This is the city I look forward to living in next year. When walking around Jerusalem on a normal beautiful day, it’s hard to imagine the soulful city being reduced to tears by a terrorist attack. I personally could not even picture this happening in real life, and not just in the collective nightmares of Israelis. Maybe this is because, despite everything I’ve seen on the news, I’d never actually been inside the country when an attack occurred.

Until about 20 minutes ago. I just found out about today’s tragedy in Jerusalem. I don’t know any specific details yet, about the number of casualties, the damage done, or the identity of the driver of the bulldozer. What really matters to me is that Israel’s hard-earned peace was shattered once again. The country has barely had any time to rejuvenate itself after last week’s gut-wrenching deal with Hezbollah; not to mention the eerily similar terrorist attack on Jerusalem a few weeks ago. Maybe today’s incident hits home so hard because I spent time last week in the exact spot where the attack occurred. Maybe it’s because my friends in Jerusalem are currently in lockdown mode at their hostel. Or maybe it’s because I’m starting to realize that every attack, bombing, or murder is more than just another scar on the psyche of Israel. The whole concept seems a lot more tangible now, and I’m not sure whether that’s a good thing or not. Now I’m finally starting to understand a reality where construction workers in bulldozers devastate the streets of Jerusalem, and where rockets rain down on Sderot, where Israelis must live in a state of constant alert and perpetual pain.

But the sun keeps on shining, the palm trees flap calmly in the wind, and B’nei Yisrael keeps on living and breathing. Like Israel, Eilat is full of contradictions. It’s a place where you have to look beneath the surface, constructed with tourists in mind, to get a true sense of what the city really is. There are some truly perplexing things about Eilat. The city and the neighbouring Eilot Region are home to a university, a college, a world-class marine biology institute, the thriving Arava Institute environmental studies program, and an ambitious yet practical vision of becoming the world’s leading innovator in the field of renewable energy. As well, many impressive, UJA Federation-supported programs and initiatives exist to lead students to fulfill their potential, and to keep at-risk kids out of harm’s way. Despite all this, there is not a single chemistry teacher at any of Eilat’s 17 elementary or high schools. This is one problem that Eilat’s now-advanced social and educational infrastructure has not been able to solve. It seems almost unbelievable that this can be true in light of all programs designed to propel students, both struggling and promising ones, towards success. But that’s just how Eilat is – you get a different story every time you speak to anyone new. Some have infinite hope for Eilat’s future. Some plan to leave as soon as they can because they see no reason to stay. Some see a city benefiting from a partnership with Toronto that is leading the city towards economic and social self-sufficiency and success. Some see a city with its head barely above the water, only buoyed by Toronto’s aid. Whether thinking optimistically or pessimistically, the truth is that Eilat has come a long way and has a well-constructed infrastructure in place, as well as many dedicated citizens. However, it faces many challenges, and is still working to win the confidence of many volunteers and residents. But ultimately, this city that lies on the frontier of Jewish civilization is like Israel itself – it’s here to stay.